Wanting Book Summary
The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life
Book by Luke Burgis
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Summary
In "Wanting," Luke Burgis draws on the powerful insights of French polymath René Girard to explore how mimetic desire - our tendency to unconsciously imitate the desires of others - shapes our lives, and provides practical strategies to escape toxic rivalries, find fulfilling desires, and become authentic leaders in an age of runaway mimesis.
Secrets Babies Keep About Humanity's Mimetic Nature
Babies are brilliant imitators from the moment they are born, capable of imitating to a degree that surpasses even adult primates. Research shows babies start developing imitative powers even before birth.
Renowned developmental psychologist Andrew Meltzoff's experiments demonstrate infants as young as 42 minutes old can mimic an adult's facial expressions with surprising accuracy. This innate power of imitation sets humans apart and allows the creation of sophisticated culture and technology. However, imitation also has a dark side, leading people to pursue unfulfilling desires.
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
The Martini Is A Gateway Drug To Mimetic Desire
"Let's say that while we're bellied up to the bar sipping our drinks, my friend tells me about a promotion he's about to get. He'll receive a $20,000 boost in salary and have a new title: managing director of something or other that sounds important. It comes with more vacation time, too.
As I smile and tell him how exciting that is, I feel some anxiety. Shouldn't I be making an extra $20,000, too? Will my friend and I still be able to plan vacations together if he gets twice as much paid time off as I do? And also, what the hell? We graduated from the same university, and I worked twice as hard as he did in school and after. Am I falling behind? Did I choose the right path in life?"
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
Models That Move Markets
- In February 2020, Tesla's stock price had a parabolic rise of over 50% in just two days, capping a four-month period where the stock had nearly quadrupled. Professional analysts were baffled as the movement didn't correspond to any extraordinary news or "reality."
- However, mimetic desire explains the irrational exuberance. On the peak day, over $55 billion of Tesla stock changed hands, the most of any stock in history at the time. Google searches for "Should I buy Tesla stock?" skyrocketed.
- People were searching Google to find out if they should buy Tesla based on whether others wanted to buy it. This is mimetic desire in action. In bubbles and crashes, desires spread at lightning speed as people imitate models. Mimetic desire, not just information, moves markets.
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
Three Tactics To Deal With Mimetic Desire
- Name your models: Identify who your models are at work, home, and in life. Some are easy to name, like role models you admire. Others are harder, like rivals you secretly orbit around. Naming them gives you more control.
- Find sources of wisdom that withstand mimesis: In an age of overnight experts, carefully curate knowledge sources that are less subject to mimetic trends. Look for wise sources that have stood the test of time rather than crowd-anointed gurus.
- Create boundaries with unhealthy models: Distance yourself from models that bring out unhealthy mimetic desires and rivalry in you. Unfollow them on social media, don't ask about them, and create space to starve the toxic relationship.
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
Celebristan vs Freshmanistan - The Two Worlds Of Mimetic Desire
There are two kinds of models that affect our desires differently:
- People in Celebristan are models separated from us by time, space, money or status. There's little chance of directly competing with them (e.g. celebrities, the ultra-wealthy, the dead). We imitate them openly as their desires don't threaten ours.
- People in Freshmanistan are models in our immediate social world with whom we can compete directly (e.g. classmates, colleagues, neighbors). Rivalry is common as even minor differences get magnified. We have to secretly wonder at these models as openly imitating them would be embarrassing. In today's world of social media and diminished hierarchies, most of us live in Freshmanistan, vulnerable to the distortions mimetic desire causes there.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
Three Ways Mimetic Desire Distorts Reality In Freshmanistan
- The misappropriation of wonder: We exaggerate the qualities of models, gawking openly at Celebristan models but secretly amazed by Freshmanistan ones. Admiration morphs into metaphysical desire - a yearning for the model's entire way of being.
- The cult of experts: As traditional hierarchies fade in liquid modernity, we become model addicts relying on "experts" to mediate desires. Except expertise is often mimetically driven, valued because others value it.
- Reflexivity: Our perceptions change reality by altering how we act, in a self-fulfilling loop. In rivalries, each person's desires become coupled to the other's in a "two-way interaction", so neither can want something without affecting the other.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
"Protect Me From What I Want" - The Dangers Of Freshmanistan
"Freshmanistan is the world of models who mediate desire from inside our world, which is why Girard calls them internal mediators of desire. There are no barriers preventing people from competing directly with one another for the same things.
...
Friends live in Freshmanistan together... Mimetic desire is both the bond and the bane of many friendships. A common example: one friend introduces the other to baking; the desire to become a better baker is then shared by both friends, which leads them to spend more time together baking. But if the friendship becomes tinged with mimetic rivalry, it can lock them into a never-ending game of rivalrous tug-of-war that extends beyond baking to relationships, career success, fitness, and more. The same force that drew them together, mimetic desire, now pushes them apart as they try to differentiate themselves."
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
Resist The Mimetic Forces Of Freshmanistan With These Two Tactics
- Use imitation to drive innovation: There's a false dichotomy between imitation and innovation. The most creative geniuses start by imitating the right models. Identify a model to imitate as a starting point, then build something fresh on top of it rather than pursuing originality for originality's sake.
- Map out the systems of desire in your world: Identify the specific mimetic systems you operate in (e.g. your industry, school, family). What is considered more or less desirable in each one? Knowing the invisible maps of desire allows you to spot opportunities others miss by daring to look in different directions. Mark the boundaries of your current system to gain the ability to transcend it.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
The Flywheel Effect - How Cycles Of Desire Determine Our Destinies
Mimetic desire tends to build momentum in one of two self-reinforcing flywheels:
- Destructive Cycle (Cycle 1): Mimetic desire leads to rivalry and conflict. People believe there isn't room for both their desires and their rivals' to be fulfilled. A scarcity mindset and resentment take hold.
- Creative Cycle (Cycle 2): Mimetic desire unites people in a shared desire for a common good. An abundance mindset leads people to create new things together and uplift each other to greater heights. The trajectory of our lives often comes down to which cycle we get caught in. Like a flywheel that's hard to turn at first but builds unstoppable momentum over time, these cycles become self-fulfilling prophecies - for good or ill. We must be intentional about which one we feed.
Section: 1, Chapter: 3
Start Positive Flywheels Of Desire In Your Own Life
Map out a positive cycle of desire for yourself:
- Start with a core desire (e.g. better fitness, more family time, writing a book).
- Map out a self-reinforcing system that makes fulfilling the desire easier over time. Write out each step as a sentence containing "want" or "desire."
- Ensure each step links logically to the next using connectors like "which leads to..." The final step should link back to the first.
Example: (1) I want to work out, because my friend looks great. (2) That makes me want to eat better, so I don't negate my efforts. (3) So I want to turn down boozy social invites. (4) Which makes me want to go to the gym in the morning rather than nurse hangovers. (5) Which makes me want to do more productive work. Repeat.
Section: 1, Chapter: 3
Scapegoating - Humanity's Primal Response To Mimetic Crises
When societies face a mimetic crisis - a breakdown of order as people become hostile rivals - they instinctively resort to scapegoating. A person, often an outsider or eccentric, gets blamed for the disorder. The community unites against the scapegoat, projecting their anger on him.
Scapegoats are chosen by stigma, not guilt. The disabled, foreigners, eccentrics, and elites are frequent targets. The scapegoat mechanism:
- Channels all-against-all violence into all-against-one violence
- Unites people against a common enemy
- Absolves the community of responsibility
- Reconciles people...until disorder builds again
Scapegoating has been a safety valve for societies throughout history.
Section: 1, Chapter: 4